Letters
by Nakitama-san
Summary: Keyblade Master, Kairi is dead and I'm all you have left. Alive, Riku. Riku writes. onesided RikuSora, implied SoraKairi, sai


**Disclaimer:** Riku and Sora and Kairi belong to Squeenix and Disney.

**Summary:** "Keyblade Master, Kairi is dead and I'm all you have left. Alive, Riku." Riku writes. (onesided Riku/Sora, implied SoraKairi, s-ai)

**Letters**

_I am tired, Beloved,  
of chafing my heart against  
the want of you;  
of squeezing it into little inkdrops,  
And posting it._

_-Amy Lowell_

It was three days after they had come back home when Riku decided he would confess.

It's not like the date was special, or the time was significant, or like he'd _planned _it at all. He'd just decided at the spur of the moment to tell Sora about…

"_Sora?"_

"_Yeah, Riku?"_

…about how he loved him. It's not that he hadn't tried _not _to like Sora. He had tried, had gradually tried to distance himself before their adventure had begun. But…He couldn't. He couldn't distance himself from Sora just like he hadn't been able to leave the darkness.

"_Uh…"_

_A smile. Oh god, a smile. "You can tell me anything, Riku, you know?"_

Riku thought of the note he had written one day, in Hollow Bastion, Maleficent looking over his shoulder.

'Dear S,

This letter isn't going to be eloquent or poetic or anything like that, because it is a letter of hate.

And I really…I…I can't finish this.

-Riku.'

The witch had sneered and sent him on a mission, which was where he had found Sora for the second time. In Monstro, where he found he had lost his conscience.

_Hesitation (_remember, Sora? You Hesitated and I got _swallowed) "It's…hard."_

"_I'll always be there for you!" A reassurance._

He wrote another note.

'Sora,

I love you but I am going to die.

-Riku'

He never sent that one either, and instead of keeping it he burnt it. Burnt it into his memories. It's not hard to remember; it was a scrap ripped out of one of the beast's books, and he found it ironic that it was a book about love.

"_Uh…what do you think about dating?" Green eyes winced, and he hoped Sora didn't notice._

_Speaking of Sora, he was concentrating. "It's…I don't know!"_

He remembers holding a cold Kairi in his arms, and a heartless looking over his shoulder, disinterested in the girl because of her lack of heart. He (it. The heartless) strokes Riku's shoulder, purring contently because he loves Riku, loves Riku's heart.

He has both of them, so he writes another note.

'Sora,

Kairi is almost awake. Did you remember to shut off the lights?

Love, the extremely sexy,

Riku'

He imagines writing notes like this, on his good days. It's like imagining what a normal life would be like, if they all were friends and Sora was his…

_He swallows. "I told you it's hard…"_

_Sora has a serious face on before something clicks in that thick head of his, and he's all conclusions and wide eyes in a second. "You're not thinking of asking out Kairi, are you?!"_

He's on the ship still, looking out the window and thinking how beautiful this would be if Sora was here, because he'd stare at his eyes, not the ocean.

Kairi gives a soft sigh against his leg, and all of the sudden she's sprawled on the floor and the chairs toppled over and Riku is standing above her, breathing hard. He coos and Riku sits heavily on the ground, smacking a black hand away when it wanders to close to his heart.

'Keyblade Master,

Kairi is dead. I'm all you have left.

Alive,

Riku'

This one he gave to the Heartless Sora, and there was just enough emotion in it that it ate the note, golden eyes watching him curiously.

"_No…" _

"_Good!" Sora was relieved, smiling and closing his eyes with a sigh. He realized what he said and promptly blushed. "I mean, no! Not good! What I mean is…Gyeh!"_

He stares at Sora through Ansems eyes. Everything is a golden haze and the only thing nearly clear is Sora.

Sora standing, Sora breathing. Sora fighting. Sora screaming.

He takes in what he loves. Soras determination. Soras stubbornness. Soras naivety. Soras _eyes_.

All he can do is write with his finger as a pen:

'Sora,

I'll save you. But you have to save me after, kay?

-Riku.'

Somehow, he holds back Ansem enough so Sora can live, but Riku has already died. He guesses that Sora just couldn't save him in time.

_Riku laughed. "Oh…God. You're so…shit. Clueless."_

_The brunette stared, confused. "What?"_

It is right after he fights Ansem in castle oblivion. He is bloody and exhausted and the dark is floating disturbingly near. He can't help but stare at the remains of the battle, the ruins, and he knows that somewhere in the building Sora has just finished fighting Marluxia. He's just finished with Marluxia or Marluxia just finished with _him._

Green eyes closed and he shuddered, diving his fingers into a deep gouge on his leg and writing on the floor.

He wrote in blood:

'Dear Sora.

I just realized I'm in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my non-life with you. Can you ever forgive me?

-Riku'

He passed out.

_He sighs. "Gimme your arm." _

_Sora does so, confusion apparent in those baby blues. Riku pulls a pen out of nowhere and presses the nib of the pen into his arm, biting him. "Dear Sora…" Sora reads._

He is fighting Roxas, losing to Roxas. At first he thought that the boy with the key blades was…

Sora.

But those eyes he fell in love with were filled with a hate Sora could never comprehend. The determination Sora possessed was a cruel pigheadedness that nobody else could have.

This boy was what Sora could have been.

So as the silver-haired boy faded back into Darkness he writes into the concrete.

Dear You,

'I am but a shell without the Dark. Or my Light.'

From,

Me.

_"Dear Sora," The owner of the arm reads. "This is simple. I love you. I'm not asking you to love me, I'm asking you…Love Always, Riku."_

_Green eyes stare at the sand, a hint of a smile gracing his lips. "Yeah."_

A lot of time passes. He is discovered to be bathed in Darkness, meets Sora, is pulled out of Darkness, and falls in love all over again. It is when they are at the End of The World that Riku is hurt most when Sora smiles and says,

"We'll go together."

There is a sharp pain of where his heart is, and just before he follows Sora into the world of light he jots in the sand.

Sora,

I have found who I love with all my heart and soul, and he proposed we go together. Guess who?

Sincerely,

Riku.

_Riku writes his last note. It isn't addressed to Sora._

Dear World,

I asked Love if everybody in the world could be happy. Could be cherished.

And guess what?

Love Said No.

Forever Yours,

Riku.


End file.
